


The Weight of a Soul

by Ceallaigh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Judgement, Redeemed Ben Solo, Souls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-13 01:44:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20574410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceallaigh/pseuds/Ceallaigh
Summary: “If he is condemned, then his soul shall be cast into oblivion,” the Mother answered. “It will cease to be. Oblivion is beyond the veil that the Force encompasses. His soul would be consumed by nothingness, and Ben Solo would exist on neither the mortal plane or the World Beyond.”





	The Weight of a Soul

Ben Solo rolled over in bed, not ready to truly wake up. He reached out for Rey, hoping to savor a few more languorous moments with her before they had to get up and start the day.

It wasn’t their bed on Chandrila, but this one in the _Millennium_ _Falcon’s_ captain’s quarters was the next best thing. What once had been a symbol of everything he hated, the _Falcon_ had become his home, its bed a haven from the storm where they dreamed of their future together, held each other when the nightmares came and the past was painfully suffocating, and where they lost themselves in each other, making love long into the night.

He didn’t need to look at the chrono nestled in the alcove above the head of the bed to know its alarm would go off in a few minutes. His internal clock always ran ahead of schedule. But the bed was warm, and he was surrounded with the comforts that reminded him of Rey—the butter soft duvet she found in a boutique on Naboo and the sweet infusion of neroli oil that reminded her of the steamy tropical planets where they would strip down to nothing and dip into sheltered lagoons for moonlight swims. 

He longed for that type of leisurely respite, but duty called. It was their last day on Socorro—one of the last separatist planets in the Outer Rim that had yet to ratify the new Galactic Charter and enter the newly reimagined Republic. The desert planet had held out longer than Tatooine and the systems of the Western Reaches to join. But that would end later in the day when Governor Tannault and the Socorran parliament formally united with the other Republic systems, effectively bringing a new era of peace to the planet.

His and Rey’s roles in the treaty process had been, for the most part, ceremonial. As the Jedi and her bonded and penitent learner, they represented a unified embodiment of the Force during the ratification process, symbols of peace—the triumphant and the defeated working together following the Great Armistice. His penance was public, as he had agreed during his sentencing hearing. A lifetime of servitude to the Force, bonded to his master and teacher as he walked a journey of atonement, charged with the task of trying to find the harmony that could be found when both the light and dark were tempered together. He was no longer Kylo Ren nor the Lord of the Knights of Ren. And he certainly was no longer the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

In that very public admission of guilt and acceptance of his fate, he had found a feeling of peace for the first time in his life. The Galaxy had wanted his head, but the tribunal had offered him a second chance. After two masters—his uncle as well as Snoke—he had realized that he only knew that he did not truly know the Force’s greatest mysteries, and he was more than happy to yield everything and learn from Rey’s example.

The galaxy saw it as servitude. They didn’t need to know that he and Rey had somehow become lovers along the way, he thought with a smile as he breathed in her scent from the pillow they shared every night in the captain's quarters. He reached out again to draw her into an embrace and steal a few more minutes before they had to report to the capitol building. 

Ben finally opened his eyes and realized she was no longer in bed. He didn’t need to reach out with the Force to find her. He could easily make out the unmistakable sound of the water running in the adjacent fresher, and if he listened close enough, he could hear her wordlessly humming to herself.

After a few moments, he heard her turn the water off. Within a minute, the fresher door hissed open and a wave of humidity filled the cabin. Dressed only in a towel with another wrapped on the top of her head to hold her wet hair in place, Rey smiled from the doorway. “Oh good,” she said. “You’re up.”

He sat up slowly, and the blanket pooled in his lap. Ben raked his tangled hair away from his face and let out a yawn. “Save any hot water for me?”

She was notorious for taking hydros for so long that he’d have to wait for the water to cycle through the reclamation system. “Enough for you to take a quick one,” she answered. “We have to be at the capitol at the top of the hour.”

He couldn’t help but let out a groan.

Rey closed the distance and placed a small kiss on the end of his nose. “Just one more day,” she said before adding to that kiss with another on his lips, “and then it’s just a long ride back to Chandrila. Besides, Lando will be there for the ratification ceremony. He wants to have dinner with us before we depart.”

Ben swung his legs out of bed. His knee creaked as he rose to his feet. He wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, not caring how dripping wet she was. Her skin was still hot from the fresher, and she smelled like that floral shampoo she loved so well. “One more day,” he said before returning the kiss.

He was ready to head home.

xxxxx

The midday sun was unforgiving. Only a few clouds spotted the otherwise brilliantly blue sky. It had to be pushing 40 standard degrees. She’d grown soft, Rey thought to herself. At one point in her life, the temperature would have been tolerable. In fact, during the hottest of Jakku’s summers, the temperatures would routinely push 50 degrees. But now she was uncomfortably hot. Sweat collected in the small of her back and her linen tunic clung to her body.

She couldn’t imagine that Ben felt any better. While he had eschewed the monochromatic black from days past, he still always dressed in darker colors. Despite the scorching heat, he insisted on donning leather gloves for these types of functions. There had been a time and place when she’d questioned his insistence on still wearing them. But she’d come to realize they were one of the final barriers he had to distance himself with others, one of the last things he could hide behind when the burdens of his public penance were overwhelming.

People still saw him as a war criminal. The fact that he had once been Kylo Ren was very much an open secret. And some were not always receptive to his public sentence of rehabilitation. Three weeks prior and one deep stab wound later, he’d spent the greater part of two days submerged in a bacta tank after a Naboo merchant had thought his sentence was too light. Before that, it was fractured cheekbone on Coruscant. Perhaps the gloves allowed him to hide his emotions behind the last remnant of a façade from the past. Or maybe it was his way of reminding others that he never really stopped being Kylo Ren, and the gloves served as an invitation for vigilante justice.

“At least take them off to eat,” she suggested as he grasped a glove with his teeth and tugged it off.

“Wasn’t it your turn to bring lunch?” he asked as they sat down on the rim of the plaza’s giant fountain. The mists churned up from the streams of water helped cool things down a considerable amount. At least there was a breeze.

Rey reached into her pouch and pulled out a bento. She peeled back the lid to reveal its contents. While she was satisfied with tasteless sustenance such as nutripellets, veg meat and ration bars, she’d learned early on that Ben preferred real food over the ersatz fillers, and that sweet bits of fruit were his favorite. The bento was filled with dried fruits and nuts, assorted cheeses and even bite-size portions of raw vegetables.

Ben peeled off his other glove and placed it on top of the first one lying of the fountain’s lip. He reached into the bento to grab a cube of cheese and popped it into his mouth.

Rey nibbled on dried piece of fruit the color of amber. She loved these quiet moments where they could pretend the were a normal couple like the countless others enjoying their lunch under the midday sun. And as he absently tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, she noted, “Your hair’s getting long.”

It had finally reached his shoulders again. He’d spent the past year letting it grow back after his trial. While the five judges had spared his life, the judicial system in the year leading up to that verdict had offered little mercy. Like every other incarcerated human housed in the penal station orbiting Chandrila, he’d had no choice when they had shaved his head.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m thinking of cutting it shorter.”

Rey grabbed three cashews and ate them one after another before adding, “Really? It was just starting to look nice.”

Ben’s face lit up with a small smile. “Well, if means that much to you…”

“Maybe it does,” she interrupted with a giggle.

She unscrewed the cap to her permasteel water bottle and took a long drink before offering it Ben. He took two quick gulps. But as he started to screw the cap back into place, Rey wordlessly gestured to the small girl who walked up to them and stared at Ben. She couldn’t be much more than ten-years-old, Rey surmised, skinny as a rail and sinewy from top to bottom. The girl didn’t stop until she was so close that her knees bumped against his.

“You’re Kylo Ren,” she declared with absolute certainty.

Here it comes, Rey thought to herself, another confrontation. It was how they always started—a declaration, not a question. Luckily this time the angry one confronting him appeared to be unarmed and less than thirty kilos. Yet Rey still felt compelled to keep a wary eye on the child. Just as Ben had pledged his service to the Force and herself, she had promised that as his master, she would keep him safe—from the angry mob, from First Order members seeking revenge, and even from little girls seeking a pound of flesh for debt that had not yet been repaid.

“I once was,” he answered. Ben never strayed from the truth. Every time he’d been confronted, he always owned his past and the monster he had once been.

The little girl didn’t hesitate and quickly spit in his face. Ben, as he always did, silently absorbed the punishment. He blinked once as it connected with him and slid down his cheek. Immediately Rey stood and put herself between the girl and him.

“It’s okay, Rey,” he quietly said, trying his best to wave his protector off. He was ready to accept what the girl had to offer.

“You destroyed my home!” the girl screamed, her teeth bared and her face reddening by the second.

Using the back of his hand, he wiped the spit from his face. “I likely did,” he confessed in a hushed voice. “There are a lot of things I did that I can’t take back.”

“Your army rained fire on my village,” she continued. “My house burned, and my father and brother died that day.”

Ben flinched at the accusation as if struck. While he always seemed prepared to absorb the anger meted out with nothing short of sober accountability, Rey knew that it stung to hear a small child list his past crimes that had altered her life forever. She was amazed at how he’d always nod, never denying what the First Order and he had done in the name of control.

She watched his larynx bob as he swallowed before he answered. “I can’t bring them back,” he said as he leaned forward so that the girl could hear him better. “But I want you to know how sorry I am. I know it doesn’t mean anything to you, but I want you to know that.”

The girl’s eyes welled with tears as her rage boiled over. “You took everything from me!” she shouted in his face.

He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded his head. “I know,” he whispered.

He held perfectly still as if he knew what was coming next and sharply drew in a breath as the girl’s open hand connected with his face in a loud slap, a red welt emerging in its wake.

“You’re a monster,” she hissed. “How dare you come here after everything you did!”

The girl drew her hand back, this time her hand cocked into a fist. She lunged at Ben, but Rey had decided she was through with the child’s anger-filled justice.

Grabbing the girl’s fist before it connected with Ben’s face, she firmly said, “That’s enough. You said your piece. It’s time to move on.”

“I curse the day you were born, Kylo Ren!” the girl screamed.

Ben gifted her with a sad smile. “That makes two of us,” he replied.

“You need to go now,” Rey said staring down the girl, refusing to move from where she stood until the girl finally ran off.

She let out a sigh, she didn’t know she had been holding as she once again sat beside him on the fountain’s edge. Picking up the bento, she offered him its contents as if nothing had transpired since their last bite. “That never gets any easier,” she said as he picked a dried date from the contents.

He nibbled at the fruit until he reached its center. Ben discretely spit the pit into his hand. “I’m used to it,” he answered as he placed it back in the corner of the box.

“She has to be the youngest,” Rey said, recalling the denizens that had already come before her during previous travels to remind him that no matter what he did to make amends, he could never outrun his past.

All he could do was nod. It wasn’t the first time he’d been attacked. It wouldn’t be the last.

The bell tower let out a chime. A flock of birds flew overhead. “It’s already thirteen hundred,” Ben said changing the subject. “We should finish up soon. The motorcade heads out at the bottom of the hour.”

Always the practical one, Rey thought to herself. “Just a few more hours,” she replied. Squeezing his hand, she added, “One more ceremony, and we can head home.”

As they finished their lunch and packed up their belongings, Ben reached down to grab his gloves only to find one remaining

“That kid stole my glove!”

Rey shrugged. “Let her have her trophy,” she answered. “I guess she’ll have something to remember the day she stood up to Kylo Ren.”

xxxxx

By the time the delegation gathered on the capitol steps, the sun was beginning its slow descent on the western horizon. Thousands had gathered in the square to celebrate the ratification. Rey and Ben followed the dignitaries out the front doors. They were greeted by a triumphant fanfare from the trumpeters announcing the commencement of the festivities.

Standing behind the Socorran delegation—its governor, heads of parliament and its favorite son Lando Calrissian—she felt herself relax as the crowd erupted in applause. The Galactic Concordance had finally reached the furthest edges of the galaxy.

“My fellow Socorrans,” Governor Tannault greeted the crowd below, “Today, the Republic rises from the ashes of war. What once was torn asunder is now united in the spirit of peace! I am pleased to announce…”

An explosion rocked the square below, and thick black smoke erupted at the base of the steps. Screams cried out in all directions. The armed security detail immediately leapt into action to shield the delegation. Rey and Ben drew their lightsabers and scanned the crowd for potential insurgents.

But as the smoke cleared, a grotesque figure emerged from nowhere. In theory, it appeared to be female, but it was a species Rey had never seen before, dressed in all black, twin horns twisted away from its forehead and pointed toward the heavens. Its leathery wings unfurled, flapped twice before coming to a rest side-by-side on its back.

It didn’t look real. Rather, it was the stuff from which nightmares were made.

Rey tried to shift her lightsaber in her hand, but found herself frozen in place.

_ I can’t move either,  _ she heard Ben say through their bond.  _ No one can for that matter. _

Even the birds were trapped in mid-flight in the sky above them. The fountain stilled, its columns of water held in place like a translucent sculpture. The wind had stopped blowing, and the square was terrifyingly silent. Despite the thousands around her, she was convinced she could hear a pin drop.

It didn’t feel like the Force, like the time Ben had held her in place on Takodana. This was something else, something that she didn’t understand.

“I am here for Kylo Ren!” the creature called out, its voice booming across the square as it reached out to where Ben was anchored to the ground.

Through the bond, Rey could feel his heart start to race and the fear radiating off him as Ben began to hover a few centimeters above the ground and wordlessly float toward the beast until he was within its reach. The heel of his boots scraped against the duracrete as he drew closer to the creature, helpless to defend himself.

It surveyed him like a trapped bug for a minute before it plunged its hand effortlessly into the center of Ben’s chest. A preternatural light emanated from his eyes for a moment before retreating into his body as quickly as it emerged.

When it pulled its hand from his chest, there was no wound where it had entered. No blood marred his tunic. “You have been summoned for judgement,” the creature hissed before vanishing once again.

As the being faded away, the inertia holding Rey in pace slipped away. The fountain once again sprayed jets of water upward, and a chaotic din returned to the square as people started to scream and scatter.

“Ben!” she cried out as she regained control of her body.

But it was too late. His lightsaber that he had been holding clattered to the ground, its sparking red beam winking out as it connected with the duracrete.

“Rey?” was all he managed to say. She felt his fear and confusion swirl around him before his signature in the Force waned into nothingness. His eyes remained open, but she felt the light depart them as he collapsed lifelessly on the top of the stairs and tumbled to the bottom like a limp ragdoll.

Ignoring the dignitaries, the security forces, and even the crowd below, Rey sprung into action and sprinted down the steps toward Ben. When she reached the bottom, she gently rolled him over. A gash marred his hairline where he’d likely struck his head on the way down the steps, and his forehead was smeared with blood. Instinctively, she felt for his pulse. It was steady and strong. Yet she could not find him in the Force. It was as if his turbulent presence had completely vanished, leaving an empty husk of a body behind. Everything she had come to know as Ben Solo was gone.

“Help!” she begged, cradling him closer.

Within moments, Lando joined her at the foot of the stairs. “Help is on the way,” he promised as the unmistakable sounds of sirens echoed in the distance.

xxxxx

Rey’s back ached, and she stretched in the uncomfortable bed side chair. The sun was starting to peek above the expanse of buildings outside the east-facing window of tiny hospital room where she had sat all night long, the horizon expanding toward the desert beyond, awash with the rosy warmth of the dawn about to break.

She’d refused to leave his side after that beast had preyed on Ben. She ignored the cup of tea a nurse had brought in sometime after midnight, its contents long cooled. A monitor silently projected data—heart rate, respirations, blood pressure, temperature and brain activity—on to the transparisteel hood that covered his head and shoulders, the numbers refreshing every fifteen minutes. He hadn’t moved since the medics had transferred him to the room.

He was the epitome of health, the physicians had noted, unable to find anything physically wrong with him. Yet they could not explain why he’d remained unconscious. His vitals were strong. His heart continued to beat a steady and strong rhythm. His chest rose and fell with predictable regularity as if he were merely asleep.

Rey shifted in her seat beside him and took his hand once again. His palm was warm against hers. Closing her eyes, she focused on the sound of his breathing as she reached out through their bond in order to find him. In the past, they could be systems away and she’d feel him on the other side, his presence strong and unmistakably him no matter where he was. In all of the nights they had lain together, she’d felt his dreams. But now as she held his hand close, she couldn’t feel his presence anywhere. The man beside her did not dream.

Ben Solo was gone. That demon had stolen his essence, but his body had not yet received the memo.

“Where are you?” she whispered.

Rey yawned and glanced at the chrono on the wall. It was a little past five in the morning. The door behind her opened, and a droid entered with a nurse. Kiva, Rey recalled. That was her name. She’d come on duty shortly after Ben had returned from a series of diagnostic scans. She’d combed the tangles out of his hair and had washed the dried blood that had pooled and crusted in his ear. Rey scooted out of her way as the nurse started her assessment. The nurse deactivated the hood, and it slid back. She quickly checked the leads attached to his body that monitored his vitals, inspected the intravenous line providing fluids and nutrients secured to his hand, and gently brushed his hair away from his face.

In any other circumstances, Ben would not tolerate others fussing over him, Rey thought to herself. He’d hate that the medical staff had unceremoniously traded his clothing for a thin, ecru colored medi-gown. He’d angrily rip out the IV line, not caring if he left a spray of blood in its wake. And he would be stomping out the door with that notorious temper of his that he struggled daily to keep in check. Normally, she’d try to help him reign that anger in, but now she’d give anything to see that fire.

“Any changes?” Kiva asked.

Rey wearily shook her head. “Nothing,” she answered.

“You should get some rest,” the nurse suggested. “He’s stable and not going anywhere, Rey.”

“I want to be here when the neurologist arrives,” Rey said, remembering what the admitting physician had planned.

Kiva smiled. “She won’t be here for several hours,” she explained. “Go get something to eat and some rest. I can comm you if his status changes.”

Rey shook her head. “I don’t want to leave him.”

“She’s right, Rey,” Lando’s familiar voice called from the doorway.

The old man hid his limp well as he leaned on a stylish walking stick and entered the room. Rey rose from her seat to greet him, allowing him to wrap her in a warm embrace. In the year following the war, he’d become a close ally and friend. For Ben, he and Chewbacca were the closest he had to family. It was only fitting that he was there to provide comfort.

“You’re no help to him if you’re dead on your feet,” he added. “Besides, it won’t be the first time I’ve sat at his bedside.”

Lando removed his wine-colored cloak and draped it over the back of the chair. He watched as the nurse and droid finished their rounds, the hood once again sliding into position as they exited the room. As he sat down, he reminisced about the past.

“Ben couldn’t have been much older than four when he joined his mother on a trip to Bahalia. Some diplomatic mission, not all that different from yesterday, now that I think about it. While he was there, he caught a nasty case of rubeola,” he said. “It had all been eradicated from most of the galaxy, but not in some pockets in the Outer Rim. No one knew he was sick until he returned to Chandrila. He spent a day dunked in bacta and another two in the hospital. So, I sat with him when Han and Leia needed a break.”

“I let him down, Lando,” she answered as she grasped Ben’s limp hand once again, brought it to her lips and gave it a gentle kiss. “When he agreed to this sentence of service, I promised to keep him safe.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t want you making yourself sick in the process.”

Her stomach rumbled to remind her that she hadn’t eaten since their shared lunch in the square, and sleep beckoned to her. Maybe for just a little bit, Rey reasoned with herself. A quick bite, maybe a catnap, but she needed to figure out what had happened if she had any chance of helping him. Other forces were clearly in play.

“Are you sure?” she asked, still looking for a reason not to leave.

“Go on,” Lando instructed. “There’s a bake shop in the cafeteria on the main level. Go get one of those pastries you like.”

“You’ll comm if anything happens?”

“Of course I will,” he answered.

She gave Ben’s hand a quick squeeze before resting it on his abdomen. “I’ll be back later,” she said to him, hoping desperately that he would still hear her promise to return.

xxxxx

The turbolift’s doors closed with a hiss, and Rey leaned against the transparisteel wall while it began its descent to the hospital’s main level. It looked out over the green oasis of a courtyard that filled the center of the building. Unlike the unforgiving desert that surrounded the capital city of Vakeyya, it was lush and teeming with verdant life. Trees as straight as rails reached toward the translucent ceiling. Vines covered the tree trunks, and lush foliage filled the ground. A stone path led to a small temple in the center of the courtyard, an inviting chapel for friends and families to gather to draw strength, pray or meditate while their loved ones receivedh care. She hadn’t noticed it the night before. Then again, she was far too distracted at that time to remember what floor Ben was on or the colors of the walls in his room. But now as the lift reached the ground level and the doors opened, the stone temple called to her.

Maybe she could center herself in within its walls, she thought to herself. The stones beneath her feet crunched as she wound her way to the temple. Orchids dotting the grounds filled the air with their fragrant sent. A sense of quiet serenity followed her through the doorway and into the temple. A round stone altar filled the center of the tiny building, its surface covered with offerings the faithful had left behind—coins, candles, rolled up bits of flimsi carrying prayers and requests.

She spied a prayer mat in front of the altar and settled into a lotus position, her favorite way to meditate. She rested her palms on her knees, took a calming breath, and closed her eyes. The world around her faded away, and she allowed herself to slip into one of the many eddies in the Force.

Rey reached out to all the places she usually found Ben’s presence and found only nothingness with each turn. She expanded her mind a bit more, and for a fleeting second, she swore she could hear his voice. It was weak and distant, and she couldn’t quite understand what he said. But just as soon as she heard it, his voice faded away.

While she didn’t locate him, it was all she needed for the moment—renewed hope. On some plane, Ben was still very much alive, and that meant he could be found and brought home

When she opened her eyes, she realized she was no longer alone. A young priestess dressed in a sky-blue robe and matching head scarf covering her hair stood silently at the altar and lit an offering of commiphora and olibanum, their aromatic fragrances mingling together in a small plume of smoke.

Rey sat silently watching as the woman raised her palms upward and started to pray. “Merciful Four,” she implored, “I give thanks to the Mother for the gift of life and the shelter from the storm. I pray to the Midwife for the gift of health. I offer my gratitude for the love and acceptance that only the Maiden can provide, and I beseech the Crone to grant us wisdom from now until the hour of death.”

The priestess allowed the smoke to waft over her as if welcoming in the gifts only it could impart before adding, “May we follow you toward the path of enlightenment as we seek your guidance and protection, saving us from Iola’s grasp until the day we stand before you in the World Beyond. I pray this in your sacred names, blessed be the Merciful Four.”

Rey didn’t dare make a sound to disrupt the woman’s prayers. Instead, she bowed her head and allowed the woman to finish in peace. She closed her eyes and once again reached out into the Force. If she could find him briefly, surely she could locate him again. She just needed more time.

“You will not find Ben Solo there,” the priestess gently said.

She opened her eyes to find the young woman smiling at her. “You will not find him there, Rey of Jakku,” the woman added as if she could read her very thoughts. “He has gone to the place between the Force. You will not find him that way.”

Rey quickly rose to her feet to stand beside the priestess. “What do you mean?” she asked. There was no place between the Force. It dwelled in everything. It surrounded everything. How could he be somewhere that did not exist?

The priestess closed the gap and put an arm around Rey’s shoulder. “Iola has taken him. She dwells where the Force does not.”

“Who is she?”

“She was the creature in the square, the demon of vengeance,” the woman explained. “Someone has made a sacrifice she found worthy and successfully summoned her for retribution.”

“Ben,” was all Rey could say.

“He has been claimed for judgement,” the priestess answered and pointed to the icons on the altar. “Iola is the stealer of souls. She has brought him before them, the Judges of the Dead.”

Rey stepped toward the altar and stared at the smoke rising from the offering dish. She didn’t believe in fairy tales like this. But then again, a few years ago, she thought the Force was nothing more than a myth as well.

“But he isn’t dead,” she thought out loud. “He still lives.”

“Does he?” the woman asked. “You and I both know a heart can beat in a chest long after one is declared dead. What you saw was just an empty husk.”

Hot, angry tears slid down Rey’s face. She refused to believe what this woman was telling her. “No,” she insisted, “I just heard his voice. He’s still alive. I would’ve felt it if he’d died. Ben is someplace else.”

The priestess smiled. “Then he has not yet been judged,” she said. “It means his soul is still alive.”

Rey swiped at the tears away with the back of her hand. The priestess was her only lead at this point. “Will I be able to find him?” she asked.

The woman closed the distance between them, her lips turned up in the faintest of smiles. Her hand was warm as it circled Rey’s arm. “What does your heart tell you?” she replied.

Rey closed her eyes for a moment and tried to envision those spaces she did not know existed—those hidden spaces where the Force did not dwell. She pictured them as the darkened folds in a curtain where the light did not reach, that place just beyond arm’s reach around every corner, the land just beyond where a dream ended, places that were temporary and not defined by time. That was where she was going to find him. She was now certain of it.

But as she opened her eyes once again, the priestess was gone. Rey reached out with her mind to locate the woman, but it was as if she had never been there in the first place.

Perhaps she too had slipped into the folds where the Force did not reach.

xxxxx

At least Rey now had a starting point. It might be nebulous and filled with riddles, but she felt filled with more hope than an hour before. The sacred texts had not mentioned the Judges of the Dead in any of her readings, and Ben had never noted them in any of his work translating the ancient books. Yet, they were prominent enough figures that whoever built the hospital had placed a shrine to them in its courtyard. Their identities, no doubt, were uniquely tied to Soccoro.

No longer exhausted, she needed to learn more about the Judges, perhaps starting with someone more familiar with Soccoran lore.

Lando.

Rey sprinted out of the temple and back toward the turbolift. She pressed the button to summon the lift, briefly contemplating if it would be faster to sprint up the twelve flights of stairs to reach Ben’s room. She nodded politely to the elderly couple in the lift as the door opened and fidgeted in the corner until the lift reached Ben’s floor. She all but ran down the hall to his room, dodging a Dee-Five medical droid quizzing a handful of medical students as they were starting their rounds.

“What do you know about Iola?” Rey said as soon as she set foot in the room.

Lando looked up from the holopad he was reading. “I thought you were going to get some rest,” he said.

“Plans changed.”

“You don’t think that thing that attacked Ben was her?” he added.

“That’s exactly who I think that was,” Rey declared. “You’re from here, what do you know about her and the Judges of the Dead?

He let out a long sigh and set the holopad on the bedside table. “My family didn’t worship the Old Gods,” he said. “I always thought they were just fairy tales meant to scare children into behaving.  _ Be good, or Iola will steal you in the night. Eat your vegetables, or the Crone will condemn your soul. _ ”

The display on the Ben’s hood refreshed, flashing a new set of vital signs while he continued to remain motionless beneath it, oblivious to the conversation above him. Rey watched as his chest rose and fell.

“It doesn’t matter if you believed or not,” she said. “It’s the only lead I’ve got. Where do souls go when you die?”

He grasped his walking stick and rose to a stand. He ambled his way to the window. The sun was already ascending higher into the sky. He scanned the cityscape, his eyes trained on the horizon. “There,” he answered, pointing toward the mountains in the distance. “That’s the Rym Range.”

Rey quickly closed the distance and joined him at the window. She peered out and spotted the jagged red peaks.

“There’s a plateau the locals call the Judges’ Bench. It’s maybe a click wide at best,” he explained. “It’s surrounded by four peaks said to be the Judges themselves. Legend has it, your soul travels there when you die and you stand before them.”

“How hard is it to get there?”

“Not hard at all,” Lando replied. “There’s a festival every spring before the monsoons come. Locals head up there and leave offerings.”

“Then that’s where I’m headed.”

Even she knew this was a rash decision based on not much more than a hunch. For all she knew, she’d find nothing more than sand and jagged peaks. It was a wild goose chase, but it was the closest thing she had to a lead. She knew she should probably get more information from a scholar or cleric, but the one thing she felt she didn’t have was time. If Ben was going to be judged by some mythical beings, they certainly weren’t going to wait for her to do her homework.

She unclipped the comm from her belt and thumbed it on. “Flight Command, this is the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ,” she spoke into the device.

“Copy that,  _ Falcon _ ,” a voice crackled back. “This is Flight Command. What can I do for you?”

Rey gazed out the mountain range with renewed determination. “I’d like to file a flight plan. I would like to depart as soon as possible.”

xxxxx 

Rey circled the plateau once before bringing the Falcon to a rest on its eastern edge. Lando was correct. Four spires ringed the area, their narrow peaks reaching toward the sun that sat high in the sky. While they didn’t quite resemble four women, they did lend a certain solemnity to the plateau.

She gathered her belongings as she headed toward the lowered ramp. She instinctively slung her pack over one shoulder. It would likely serve no purpose on her journey, but it was something she’d taken with her everywhere since childhood. Somehow it made her feel more prepared to face the unknown, unlike the blaster that sat beside her on the counter. It wasn’t something she was going to need, but she retrieved her lightsaber. She turned it over in her hand—its weight a comforting presence—before clipping it on her belt and heading down the ramp.

If the temperature in the city was awful, then the heat radiating off the plateau was oppressive. Midsummer droughts, she recalled the locals calling it. The hottest point after the solstice. It was the time of day she’d sought out the shade of a downed destroyer’s underbelly when she’d lived as a scavenger. No one in their right mind would venture into the blazing sunlight this time a day without liters and liters of water and a definite plan to seek shelter. But here she was with nothing more than a daypack and her lightsaber.

Sweat prickled in her hairline, and she shielded her eyes with her hand. That same beckoning energy sang to her just as it had in the tiny temple, drawing her toward what looked like a centering heelstone in the center of the plateau. As she drew closer to it, the clouds quickly gathered overhead and cast shadows shielding her from the sun’s scorching rays. The sand and pebbles crunched beneath her feet, and her linen shirt clung to her back as the heat became nearly unbearable. For a moment, she wished she had packed her headscarf. They hadn’t planned on hiking in the unforgiving desert, and it remained folded away in her storage unit on Chandrila.

By the time she reached the heelstone, the clouds had all but blotted out the sun, and the temperature had fallen several degrees. A breeze stirred out from the west and spat stinging particles of sand against her skin. She was a fool for heading out into the wilderness this unprepared, but Rey knew she was heading in the right direction. The energy still called to her, and she was certain it came from that space the priestess had described where the Force did not reach.

The heelstone was not unlike the mudstone that covered the landscape back on Jakku—jagged and unforgiving. It sparkled in places where the dolomite poked out from the reddened surface. But what caught her eye the most were the symbols—likely millennia old—that were carved into its surface. A chalice, a flower, a tree, and what looked like flames ringed the periphery of it, likely symbols representing the four judges themselves. A bleached and dried up crown of flowers rested at the feet of it. Someone had left an offering in the recent past.

Rey didn’t believe in fairy tales, but this stone definitely felt powerful, and the energy it radiated felt nothing short of sacred. Its pull was irresistible, and she felt herself drawn closer to it. Closing her eyes, she placed her palm flat against and opened her mind to what the stone had to offer.

“Rey!” she heard Ben call out in the distance. Her eyes snapped open and she surveyed the plateau. A shock of black hair, she spotted him in the distance wandering toward the northern spire before vanishing as quickly as he had emerged.

He cried out for her again, this time closer but at the southern side of the plateau. He was dressed in nothing more than the thin gown from the hospital, his pale skin a stark contrast to the ochre colored terrain surrounding him.

“Ben,” she yelled to him, “stay there. I’m coming to you.”

This was madness, an illusion clearly meant to confuse her. The rational part of her brain tried to remind her that his body was still in that hospital bed. Lando was still at his bedside. Yet, the urge to run to him was overwhelming.

“Rey!” he called once again before once again vanishing into thin air.

“Give him back!” Rey yelled into the void, her plea echoing back a few seconds later.

She drew her lightsaber, its hum the only thing centering her. Rage coursed through her veins, and for a fleeting second, she felt the darkness rise within her. She wanted to hack the heelstone to pieces. She wanted vengeance.

She wanted Ben back.

But as quickly as the darkness reared within her, it subsided. Clearer heads had to prevail if she had any chance of bringing him home. Deep in her heart, she knew she couldn’t take him by force. Deactivating her saber, she took a deep breath and quieted her mind. No doubt, she was in the right place, but she had to be patient and wait for the answers to come to her. They held all the proverbial cards. In her mind, she went through a calming exercise and focused on her footsteps as she rounded the heelstone.

As she completed a full circle, an old woman waited for her where she had first stood. A black headscarf hid most of her face and cast the deep folds of her skin in shadow.

“Why do you look for the living among the dead?” the woman asked her with a smile. “The living do not dwell in this place.”

She had to be the Crone, Rey thought to herself, the one the priestess had prayed to for wisdom.

“Ben is not dead,” Rey declared with confidence. “I felt his presence so strongly a minute ago. I know he is alive.”

The woman placed her hand on Rey’s forearm. “My child,” she calmly answered, “Alderaan’s lost prince has been summoned before us. His soul has been claimed in the name of justice. He will be judged just as you will at the hour of your death.”

Rey stared at her for a second in disbelief. “How is this even possible?” she asked. “How was he summoned?”

The Crone reached into her cloak and retrieved a black object from its folds.

Ben’s missing glove.

“That girl,” Rey quietly muttered to herself as the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place.

The Crone nodded. “An offering was made, a talisman was provided, our daughter was summoned for service,” she stated, “and a soul was brought forth for judgement.”

Rey stated at the glove for a moment. “How is that even fair?” she demanded.

The Crone tucked the glove back into her garment before answering, “Iola can only retrieve those requiring judgment.”

“I want to see him,” Rey interrupted.

The old woman was not backing down. “All in good time, my dear,” she said. “Soon it will be time for him to be judged.”

“And then what happens?”

“His soul will be measured for its worth,” another voice said from behind her.

Rey turned to find a middle-aged woman dressed in blood red robes standing beside her. The Mother, the one they prayed to for life itself. “If his soul is deemed worthy, it shall be returned to the land of the living.”

“And if not?”

“If he is condemned, then his soul shall be cast into oblivion,” the Mother answered. “It will cease to be. Oblivion is beyond the veil that the Force encompasses. His soul would be consumed by nothingness, and Ben Solo would exist on neither the mortal plane or the World Beyond.”

He would be erased forever, Rey realized. He would not become part of the living Force, nor would he ever find his parents in the World Beyond. He would simply be gone, and she’d never see him again, never hear his voice again. She reached out for him through their bond, and that ache of his absence seemed more painful than ever.

“You can’t have him!” Rey said, unshed tears starting to gather in her eyes.

Two younger women—the Maiden and the Midwife—joined the older Judges at the heelstone. “My sisters and I judge all souls, Rey,” one of them said. “Ben’s is no different. I admire your courage, young Jedi, but you cannot stop the wheel of life.”

This was worse than his trial on Chandrila. He had others present to plead for his life then. If she wasn’t successful, it would be her fault if he were condemned.

“But his life was stolen from him,” Rey pleaded. “How is this remotely fair?

The women drew closer to form a circle. Lightning danced across the sky, and the plateau echoed with deafening thunder. The storm was gathering overhead. She was running out of time.

“Was it fair to those lives he stole before their final chapters were written?” the Crone asked as she placed the stolen glove in the center of the circle. “Where were their choices?”

A blinding light emerged from the glove and Ben’s image materialized. He had no solid form, but there he was on his knees, dressed in nothing more than that thin hospital gown. Heavy chains surrounded his form binding him at the hands and feet.

“Ben!” Rey called out.

He lowered his head in defeat as if he already knew his fate was sealed. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

For as much as he put on a brave face, his fear was palpable. He was terrified of fading into nothingness. Rey tried to run to him. She wanted nothing more than to push the four women aside and tear the chains off him. But as she tried to inch forward, she found herself anchored to that spot on the ground. The Judges had immobilized her.

“But he already stood trial!” she tried to bargain. “He’s actively atoning for his past. There is good in him, I can feel it!”

The youngest of the four—obviously the Maiden dressed in green with a crown of flowers circling her curly black hair—turned to Rey and explained, “If there is good in him, then he should have nothing to fear.”

“It’s okay, Rey,” Ben added with the same sense of calm he carried with him into that courtroom on Chandrila, that same dignity and acceptance he carried with him every day since when they spat in his face, beat him with their fists, and sank blades into his vulnerable flesh because he could never outrun that past that was the monster Kylo Ren. “I’m ready.”

Images from the past emerged above Ben’s head—a burning temple on Yavin 4, an old man cut down outside a burning desert village, the life leaving his father’s eyes as he sunk into an abyss. Enough atrocities to condemn his soul several times over. It didn’t matter if he had reclaimed his birth name. It didn’t matter if he accepted guilt for every crime he had committed in the name of darkness. It didn’t matter how many times he let the angry mob beat him within an inch of his life. He could not change the past, and a small, innocent child who had been hurt by his actions had called for his soul. The Judges had accepted her demand for justice.

He would never be able to change his past. Ben Solo was Kylo Ren, and Kylo Ren was Ben Solo. No act of atonement would ever be able to change that fact.

“I am sorry, Rey,” the Maiden said softly. “Once Iola has been summoned and a soul is brought forth, a soul must be judged. The Wheel of Life cannot be stopped once it is set in motion.”

Did the Maiden just provide her with a loophole to halt the process? She said  _ a soul _ , she didn’t specify that it had to be  _ his soul. _

“Then judge mine!” she cried out.

“Rey, no!” Ben said as he tried to interrupt her.

The images from the past faded into the wind.

“You didn’t specify which soul needed to be judged,” Rey said before anyone could stop her. “The girl demanded justice. As his teacher, I am responsible for Ben’s actions. If anyone is going to be judged, it will be me.”

The Midwife broke from the circle and approached Rey. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder and drawing her near, the Midwife said, “That is very noble of you, but do you fully understand what you are offering to do?”

Rey nodded.

“If you are to stand in his stead, you will be judged on your actions in life,” she explained. “There is no turning back once we render our decision.”

This was going to work. They were going to accept the exchange! A wave of confidence rushed through her, and Rey was never so sure of anything in her life.

“His soul will be spared now and at the time of his true death if offer mine in exchange?”

The Midwife turned to her sisters and awaited their consent. In unison they all nodded their acceptance of the offer. The Crone was the first to add, “His soul shall be returned, and he will meet his ancestors in the World Beyond when his final chapter is written. As for you, Rey of Jakku, shall be permitted to be judged in his stead.”

“If you are worthy, your soul shall be returned,” the Mother added. “But if it is condemned, you will be cast into oblivion.”

Rey swallowed hard. While her sins throughout her life were not violent or cruel as his had been, she was well aware that she had not lived a spotless life. She had stolen in order to not starve. She had killed in order to survive, sometimes enjoying it in the heat of battle. She had lied to friends.

She was far from perfect.

After a moment, she looked the Maiden in the eye, and with absolute clarity answered, “I understand.”

“Then your soul shall be summoned for judgement,” the Maiden declared, placing her palm in the center of Rey’s chest.

She let out a small gasp has the Maiden’s hand sunk into chest and retrieved the soul within. She didn’t feel it when the Maiden gently eased her body to the ground.

Rey had no idea how much time had transpired before she emerged within the circle. She could see her motionless body over the Maiden’s shoulder. Like Ben beside her, she was nothing more than a translucent, ephemeral being.

But now she could finally touch him. Immediately she knelt down to embrace him where he was anchored to the ground. While her arms wrapped around him, she felt his soul’s energy. Together, they felt stronger now that they were reunited on the same plane.

“I don’t want you to do this,” he said. “I’m not worth the risk. You shouldn’t have to pay for what I’ve done.”

She stroked his cheek, and traced the scar that bisected his face like she’d done hundreds of times before. Ben leaned into her touch. The tears she had been holding back spilled onto her cheeks. As she shook her head and refused to yield, she said, “I can’t imagine living in a galaxy where you no longer exist.”

“I can’t let you do this,” was all he could say. “I don’t deserve anyone’s compassion, even yours.”

Rey leaned in and pressed her forehead against his. Compassion wasn’t an endpoint that was earned. It was a gift freely given, and it was the only thing she had to offer him at this point. “The risk is worth it,” she said, not taking no for an answer, “because you’re the one who no longer made feel all alone in the universe. I’m the one who dragged you to Soccoro, and I’m willing to take this risk, because I love you more than anything.”

She punctuated her statement by placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Rey,” the Crone called from the circle. “It is time.”

She stood and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. There was no turning back now. She sought strength, and placed her hand on Ben’s shoulder, tried the best to calm her anxiety, and answered, “I’m ready.”

The ritual began again, and images rose up from the center of the circle. But this time instead of seeing all of her transgressions as she thought they would display, she saw something else—herself as a young child, not much older than the one who had summoned Iola, sharing her portion of vegmeat with a child younger than herself. She saw herself straightening BB-8’s antenna and offering to help the droid. Images of her crouched beside a wounded and unconscious Finn followed in quick succession.

And then the Judges showed her something more—the mercy she had offered Ben when they were still adversaries, how she resisted Darth Sidious’ voice in her head to strike him down in cold blood during their duel on Starkiller Base, that same mercy as she clipped his lightsaber to his belt and brushed the hair from his eyes while he had lain unconscious in Snoke’s burning throne room. She saw how she had powered off her lightsaber when they had fought to a stalemate in that final battle, each bruised, bloodied, and covered in ash, and offered her hand to him with her plea to join her—and how she drew him into an embrace when he finally agreed to do so. Finally, she witnessed how she had comforted him during their only face-to-face visit onboard the penal station where he had been detained in the days leading up to his trial, holding him while he sobbed himself hoarse as he’d mourned his mother’s death on the planet below.

That was what the Judges had wanted her to see, her selfless love and compassion for others no matter what challenges stood before her. As the images faded into nothing and lightning flashed across the sky, the rain began to fall, a light shower that promised a torrent to follow as the storm drew closer.

“Rey of Jakku,” the Crone declared, “We have found your soul to be worthy. Neither you nor Ben Solo shall be cast into Oblivion.”

Ben lowered his head in thanks as the chains binding him place evaporated from his ephemeral form. He sprung to his feet immediately and drew Rey into a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” he whispered into her hair.

“Together,” she whispered back, repeating the promise they had made to each other, that there would be nothing the other would face alone. They were always stronger when they were together.

They held each other for a moment before separating to face the Judges.

“Your souls have been set free,” the Mother stated, “and you are free to go. Return the talisman to its rightful owner, and his soul will be returned at nightfall. As for you, Ben Solo, you have been given something few are granted—a second chance. Do not squander this opportunity.”

“I won’t,” he quietly promised.

Taking Rey’s hand in his, he drew it to his mouth and pressed a small kiss on her knuckles. “I will never be able to repay you for this.”

She smiled. For the first time in over a day, that exhausting weight finally lifted from her shoulders. “You owe me nothing,” she said in reply. “Just come back to me.”

The wind picked up and the rain began to fall in earnest and started to soak into her clothing. The air smelled of ozone with each lightning strike. She leaned in and kissed Ben one last time. When she opened her eyes, she was no longer separated from her body, and she was only a few footsteps away from the Falcon’s entrance. Ben was gone, and in his stead was the glove she held close to her heart. A little disoriented, she turned in search of the Four, but all that remained was the Maiden who joined her beneath the shelter of the Falcon’s underbelly. As she drew closer, Rey finally recognized the kind green eyes and warm smile that she had seen earlier in the day. After all, they were what set everything in motion.

“It was you,” Rey declared. “You were the priestess in the Temple.”

The Maiden silently nodded. “My sisters and I cannot stop the judgement process,” she said, “but it is not forbidden for me to light the path toward mercy.”

“How can I ever thank you for this?” Rey asked.

“By remaining true to the Light,” the Maiden answered before fading away. “Your strength is found in your love. Continue to help him stay on his path of atonement. That is all I ask.”

Rey looked back at the heelstone. As she did so, a bolt of lightning reached down from the clouds and struck it in the center. It didn’t explode or shatter when the electricity connected with it. Rather it glowed briefly, casting shadows of the Judges of the Dead for a split second before fading away.

xxxxx

Rey all but sprinted up the many flights of stairs when she returned to the hospital. She was out of breath by the time she reached Ben’s room. There were still several minutes before sunset. Lando dozed quietly in the chair beside Ben’s bed and woke with a start when she entered the room. Kiva the night nurse standing at the bedside like she had the night before, recording data and checking on her unconscious patient. She greeted Rey with a smile.

As Rey crossed the room, she pulled Ben’s glove from her daypack. “Is it possible to slide the hood back?” she asked the nurse.

Kiva didn’t question her intention, and answered with a nod. “I’m done with my assessments,” she stated. “It should be fine for a few minutes. I know this has been hard. Take your time with him, and I’ll be back in when you’re done.”

Once Kiva left the room, Rey set the glove on Ben’s chest. She grasped his hand and placed it over the glove. “And now we wait,” she said.

“Wait for what?” Lando asked.

Rey peered to the window. It faced the east. While it yielded spectacular views of the sunrise, she’d have to rely on the stars in the sky to dictate the onset of night. It took three visible stars at twilight to declare it nightfall and the end of the day. That was a truth that she had clung to since she’d first scavenged alone. She’d long associated it with bad things. The robbers came out after dark. Animals that could rip you to shreds hunted their prey after dark. Nothing good ever emerged after sunset.

But not now. ”Night,” she declared. Suddenly, that time of day took on a whole new meaning.

It now meant hope.

“I take it your journey was successful?” Lando asked.

Rey nodded as she watched the sky fade from the orange and reds of the end of the day to give way to the cooler tone of indigo and hushed violets.

Ben remained as still as death as the first star emerged in the twilight. Rey tried to imagine which system twinkled from thousands of light years away. Was it her adopted system of Chandrila, or was it something more remote like Endor or Tatooine?

A second star joined the first, and the sky grew even darker. After everything they had experienced earlier that day, perhaps this was the greatest test of all. Patience was never one of her finer suits. The Judges had specified nightfall. They didn’t give her a specific time.

She would just have to wait, even if moments felt like an eternity.

Rey never did see the third star light up in the night sky. Instead her focus was drawn to something very simple yet incredibly promising.

A sigh.

Ben’s lips parted just a small amount, and he let out a breathy sigh. His eyes darted around under his closed eyelids.

He was dreaming.

The monitor picked up his increased heart rate as he turned his head to the side and slowly stirred to life. He mumbled something wordlessly before his eyelids stilled and he drew in a deeper breath. All movement stopped. Rey could sense him waking as his consciousness spilled into their bond.

Slowly he opened his eyes. He blinked once, twice, and scanned his surroundings. His hand instinctively closed around the glove resting on chest. He swallowed once. His mouth had to be bone dry.

“You’re here,” he rasped.

A sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob escaped Rey’s lips as she threaded her fingers with his. He returned the gesture with a gentle squeeze. Finally she found the strength to answer him with a watery smile, “So are you.”


End file.
